Every Time I Die
Photographer Unknown
Every time I die, something happens
The first time, was when the events happened
When two men, at different times
Took my innocence and broke my soul
I was only 4, and a part of me died
Next, was a series of flashbacks
Like watching a black and white film
It’s me, but it’s not, I lied to myself
So I continue to wear my mask like everything’s okay
Being a teen, was fairly normal
Until boys came round, sprouting their compliments
But oh, I had learned to hide well
And I was safe being the wallflower
Dying had taught me not to trust
How to wear armor round my heart
My body, so that no one could take
What I did not want to freely give
Every time I died, a hell of toxic shame engulfed me
Lies of I somehow caused this
kept aiming at my fragile state
My worth slipping down till the darkness chained me
Every time I died, I prayed I would
How could someone love me
Broken, fractured, and not complete
I longed so hard to just not be
Every time I died, a truth came to light
I held on to it, precious as it was
Who needed the devil
When I could be my own worst enemy
Every time I died, something in me grew stronger
It didn’t matter how many emotions that would ensnare me
The truth took root
And the light in me grew brighter
Every time I died
Backed into my corner, crying from the depths of my soul
A fighter would arise
And more dangerous, because I had nothing to lose
Every time I died
I came back stronger
More compassionate
Able to see others pain
Every time I died, I came back a better me
No longer afraid
A warrior born out of pain
A prisoner set free
ladyphoenix2016 
Tears or words can’t begin to tell you how this has touch my soul. Sweetie you are wonderfully made. God has shaped you into a beautiful tool to touch others with words of encouragement. Knowing that each one of us has die in a different . way, and we all share the same creator and healer . Bless you . keep letting your words flow……..It will cross oceans one day. You wait and see……..Love you Mom.
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Your words flowed beautifully imprinting your struggle. Your words touched me spiritually
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Thank you, it was a little bit of therapy for me to write this, but still difficult. I think so many don’t understand what it does. I am thankful, that my Heavenly Father was there with me, and encouraging me, that I am so much more, and that I am an overcomer. His ways, are not our ways. But I am learning to trust Him more, and that His love never fails.
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Trust in the Lord gets us through
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